Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize