she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
