I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
me + whiskey = a bad person
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize