I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
