let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Text me some of your sweat
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