It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Did I show you my penis last night?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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