That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
