almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize