K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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