Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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