i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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