ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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