is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
