fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
