well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
