im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
