I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
