dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize