wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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