U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm drive I can fine osifer
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
