I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
