Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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