Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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