Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
