And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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