I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just gargled with NyQuil
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.