So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Don't say a word.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.