Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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