Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
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It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
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Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?