Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.