im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...