I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.