this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
