I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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