Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
