Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
