It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
