just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
