I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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