Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
