Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
