i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
