i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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