I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
