what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
