do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
