Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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