What a fucking waste of an outfit
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize