what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
well you can't waste a boner
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
