maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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