girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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