Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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