So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
