Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
there is glitter all over my balls
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