I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
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That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
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They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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