Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
