her vagine was all disorganized.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
love makes seman taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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