i was born a porn star she said
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
