He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Boobs speak an international language.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
did i just pee glitter
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
